JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

Today is September 21, the beginning of autumn. And it is the start of a new season in our home as well. Tomorrow is the day Ted’s book is due. It’s been an interesting and intense time for our family during these past few months he’s been writing. It was summer. It was a season.

For me, I’ve felt more like the spectator on the sidelines than the runner in the race. I’ve been trying to support Ted and take care of him as I can. I haven’t thought of myself as one of the runners out on the cross-country course tackling the hills. But today I realized that I have been running my own race also. It’s just been an intense time and I’ve gotten used to the course.

In today’s Seattle Times I read a feature In the womb of water, unwound about a Korean-style spa near Tacoma. One of our friends has been to this spa. Visiting such a place, though, has never interested me. Even picking up the article today, I didn’t think it appealed to me: being naked with a bunch of other women, getting very hot and very cold?! But as I read the story, I became drawn to the client’s descriptions, and I realized also how wonderful it would be to go somewhere and have others care for me. I realized how much I would like to be able to go and relax. Not that it has to be 170 degree sauna or a cold waterfall, but just to be able to rest and relax. And the idea that someone else would be taking care of me tenderly, like a masseuse. It made me realize the weight I’ve been carrying these past few months, the race I’ve been running. How I’ve had to take care of the kids mostly by myself, and even take care of house projects too, like the deck, and also try to care for my husband as well. Sometimes I think Ted is the one writing the book, the one with the work to do, but I realized today that it has been work for me too. (Guess I’ve even forgotten about doing the deck all those weeks ago!) Having Ted around this weekend (out of his office!) hanging out with the girls while his brother was here made me realize how few moments like that we have had this summer.

I am, though, very proud of Ted. During this stressful season, he did his best to spend time with our family. He’d hold the girls as he ate breakfast. Lunch and dinner he ate with us (ha, no flat food, microserfs style!). After dinner he’d still spend the hour or so of “family time” that we would all have together before the kids’ bedtime. Ted would stay away from his office for hours in the evenings, beginning with dinner, spending time with me too, after the girls went to bed. And many are the moments he would come out to help me with the girls if I was having a problem. He’d let me interrupt him if I had a need or something to say. Even though he was tired, he’d listen to me. Despite the book schedule, we still took a summer vacation together, a blessed time for us all in June. I am so grateful for how well he has handled this crazy pace. Even tonight, it looks like he will be going to bed and getting sleep, and he hasn’t yet cracked open the bottle of Mountain Dew I bought to help him stay up late. Thank you, Ted, for remembering what – Who – is really important.

It’s been a good season for me in all this. With more time to myself at night, I’ve had more time to write. I started this blog! In June, to my surprise, God opened a season of healing for me, and that’s been amazing as well. I sense that God used this book contract to mark out a season in our lives. Some of what happened we can’t yet see now.

But now the door is opening, the old season is ending and a new one beginning. This afternoon, after chopping and pulling weeds, I took a long shower, resting in the hot water, breathing in the steam. I smelled the fruity scents of my shampoo and soap as if for the first time. I indulged. I imagined my own little spa, coming clean, coming into new life.
And I look forward to find what waits for us now in this newness…..

P.S. before I was able to post this, Ted came out and said, “It’s done!”