JulieLeung.com: a life told in tidepools

After losing someone you love, December is difficult. I have a hard time explaining that my calendar is busy during the holiday season, not because of celebrations but because my family often takes time to remember my brother who passed away seven years ago. Death changes December. The culture is caught up in getting stuff while you are living loss. How can it be happy holidays when you are hurting? How can you celebrate traditions when nothing is the same? And what do you say to someone who is grievng this season?

Dear Elena has been filled with wisdom this month. I particularly appreciated Santa’s gift which was also a gift to me. Thank you.

He didn’t say the usual meaningless things. He put his hand on my arm and looked me in the eye and said, “people will tell you that they know what you’re going through. They don’t. They can’t.”

It was surprisingly reassuring to hear this said out loud.

“No one knows but you and Kim.”

I thanked him. It’s true. I don’t really feel the depth of your loss. I can’t. I think I know what it feels like, but I don’t.

Andru Edwards lost his father. His tribute The Loss of a Hero: Goodbye Dad inspires me to be a better parent and person. Thank you, Andru, for sharing your story, words and pictures that speak depths. George Budabin and his wife gave an amazing and healing love. Hugs to Andru, Monica and Alijah.